ava1on

My heart implodes from utter adoration like a child o bsessing with "love" hoping for a feeling, waiting and inviting the thought I dream of your face when fingers touch, it's nothing much lasting eye contact and a wink what am I supposed to think? I hold no risk, no deeper hurt no complications, just me and all of myself for that one moment but you lie through your silence and lie you do the most to yourself no boundaries you set and so I'm led to believe you're just a coward unless I'm in denial and you're solely hesitant to reject me or my delusions surely you know. in either case, what am I to think? what am I to know if you say nothing? am i the one lost in this scenario? or are you conflicted.... if the world had different rules would you speak to me? would you dare to even be my friend when I push and test you when i try to provoke your deepest thoughts even when you don't even know them yourself? let me love you as a friend or not and if neit...

I fall in love too easily though it's rare I must confess often does my heart feel warmth yet when it does, I do obsess "childish and immature just needing their attention" but no offense I find of their words that lack progression they don't see me nor know themselves so I'm used for their amusement  perhaps my crush will fade and they'll see my grand performance  acting on emotion and living as I please there are no rules or repercussions one day they'll feel at ease yes means yes, no means no i'll pursue it to the end desire and passion are all i know fueling  yet another conquest